Re- post from May 2011. Obama Voter Test.


Obama Voter Test. Find Out Where You Stand!

I spend a fair amount of time trying to decide what makes people think about voting for Barack Obama, not to mention time spent thinking about what makes people actually vote for him. Often times I am perplexed, but I suppose that is just another of my peculiar personality traits.

Despite the occasional perplexity I have concluded that there are several distinct groups of Obama voters.

First, there are the free riders. This is a term taught in Economics 101 in college. Therefore, this term will not be well known to most Obama voters. It is actually a polite way of saying, “freeloaders”. Now, that’s something we all understand. But, Obama freeloaders are a subset of normal freeloaders. Obama freeloaders think they are entitled to freeload off other persons. (Most freeloaders don’t actually believe they are entitled to freeload, they are just parasites.) Obama freeloaders think other people, who have strived and worked to be better off than others, owe payments to everyone who has an inferior standard of living. Currently in our society we have somewhere between 40% and 50% of everyone in the U.S. receiving some sort of government payments or benefits. Many of these people are Obama freeloaders and they are all Obama voters.

Second, there are the morons. Morons make excellent Obama voters. These are people too stupid to know any better so they vote for Obama because he can read a good speech from a teleprompter. The morons don’t know what a teleprompter is so they actually think Obama is a good public speaker. They like that. It does not challenge their limited intellect.

Third, there are the ignorant people. They are not stupid but they are too ignorant to actually understand complex issues. Some are ignorant because they are too lazy to actually think things through to a logical conclusion. Others are ignorant because they never recovered from their public school education. Their ignorance allows them to vote for Obama because they simply don’t know any better.

Of course, these groups overlap a considerable amount. But taken together, they account for about 45% of the U.S. voting public. They are heavily concentrated in some states more than others. For example, states like Michigan, Illinois, California, and several others. (You know the ones. Just think of states that are morally and financially bankrupt. Those are the core Obama states.)

Now of course, some people are actually undecided about voting for Obama. These people suffer from a unique sort of identity crisis. They are not sure if they are freeloaders, morons, or just ignorant. Because I am a compassionate person I want to assist these undecided folks. The following test questions should help them decide. These questions are based upon actual Obama policies. See if you agree with him. Answer each question yes or no.

1. It was wrong for President George Bush to order the use of harsh interrogation on captured terrorists to gain information about planned attacks and other terror operations. Yes or no?
2. It was ok for President Barack Obama to order the killing of captured terrorists and the dumping of bodies in the ocean. Yes or no?
3. It was wrong for President George Bush to order U.S. forces to attack a sovereign country like Iraq to capture and bring to trial the country’s murderous leaders. Yes or no?
4. It was ok for President Barack Obama to order U.S. forces to attack a sovereign country like Libya to kill the country’s murderous leaders. Yes or no?
5. It will help the U.S. economy by spending government money to prevent U.S. oil companies from drilling for oil in the oceans and also spend government money to help foreign oil companys drill for oil in the oceans. Yes or no?
6. A nation can be prosperous by borrowing 40 cents of every dollar it spends. Yes or no?
7. A nation can be prosperous by requiring every 2.5 people with jobs to pay money to one other person who does not have a job so that the other person can continue to enjoy the same lifestyle he or she enjoyed while he or she worked. Yes or no?
8. It is safer to fly on airplanes in the United States because government employees are allowed to sexually molest children in public before the children are allowed on planes with their parents. Yes or no?
9. Countries that do not allow sexual molestation of children before they fly on airplanes just don’t know how dangerous little children actually are. Yes or no?
10. It would be a good terrorist deterrent to randomly select persons in line at airports to be photographed naked or be sexually molested before being allowed on an airplane. Yes or no?
11. U.S. companies that are profitable should be penalized by raising their income taxes. Yes or no?
12. U.S. companies that are not profitable should be rewarded by lowering their income taxes or by being allowed to pay no income taxes at all. Yes or no?
13. Public schools that have students who are increasingly badly educated should be rewarded by receiving more public money. Yes or no?
14. Private schools that have students who are increasingly better educated should be punished by receiving no public money. Yes or no?
15. An alcoholic who loses his job because of heavy drinking then drives his car into a wall causing serious injuries should be rewarded by receipt of free medical care for life, a social security check every month for life (regardless of age), state funds to pay for rent, a weekly maid to clean his home and run errands, free food, free dental care, and free medical marijuana. Yes or no?
16. A single mom whose husband died from cancer should be denied public assistance so that the person in question #15 can continue to receive benefits because he was in line before her. Yes or no?

If you answered yes to one or two of the above questions you have what it takes to be an Obama voter. However, you should first go back and think about your answers. Perhaps you made a mistake.

If you answered yes to three to five questions you are ignorant enough to be an Obama voter. Please try reading a book or getting some other form of self-help before it is too late for you.

If you answered yes to six to eight questions you are a moron. You will feel comfortable voting for Obama and will be in good company with your moron friends.

If you answered yes to more than eight questions you are: (a) too stupid to talk to and (b) a good Obama freeloader. He’s your man.

I hope this simple test has helped you fence sitting voters find your place in our formerly great republic. If you have found yourself and now know your true place as an Obama voter I wish you luck and hope you enjoy your ride down the slippery slope into serfdom and poverty. You truly deserve it.

Advertisements

About vortextual

so much to say, so little time
This entry was posted in politics, satire and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s