Superstorm Sandy Victims Need Help: Obama Comes to the Rescue


The victims of Hurricane Sandy in New Jersey and New York are facing weeks without power, water, and heat.  But Barack Obama has announced his plan to help keep people warm.  Obama has taken command of the Federal Emergency Management Agency and is directing relief efforts.

Under Obama’s leadership FEMA has turned to our friends in Central America to help Americans in distress.  FEMA will buy and deliver over 100,000 outdoor heating devices to provide community heat for displaced people in New Jersey and New York.

These high volume convection heaters will be delivered to communities in the coming weeks and FEMA has pledged to have hundreds of units up and running in time for Thanksgiving.  In addition, to ensure that there is no interruption in planned Thanksgiving Day dining, Barack Obama has also directed the Department of Energy to redirect funding designated for bankrupt solar panel companies.  Beginning immediately, the Department of Energy will purchase thousands of outdoor cooking units suitable for roasting turkeys.

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Even though these are outstanding examples of Federal Government innovation directed by Barack Obama our dear leader has pledged to do more.

Most of us remember the billions of dollars directed to the manufacture and sale of electric cars such as the Government Motors Chevy VOLT and the FISKER Karma.  It now appears that these cars, although dismal failures as a means of transportation, will have new found usefulness for disaster relief and assistance.

Reports of electric car explosions and fires have proliferated.  Chevy Volt Battery Fires Threaten All Electric Vehicle Makers.

It appears that the high tech batteries in some electric cars tend to catch fire when the wiring shorts and internal and external heat reaches combustion temperatures.  Of course, this tendency is a serious detriment for someone driving down the road but there is a silver lining.

Our President has taken note of the reports that some FISKER electric hybrid cars caught fire during the Hurricane Sandy flooding.  Fisker Karma Hybrids caught fire .

With this in mind, President Obama has also ordered the Dept of Energy to purchase thousands of FISKER Karma Hybrids and unsold Chevy Volts for immediate delivery to New Jersey.  These cars will be stationed though-out the devastated areas so that people can use them for emergency heat sources.  Citizens will be instructed how to spray the cars with water to ignite the batteries and the burning vehicles will provide immediate warmth for hundreds.

All Americans can be thankful for the clever and inspired leadership in Washington D.C.

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About vortextual

so much to say, so little time
This entry was posted in humor, no category, politics, satire and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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