Global Warming Update: Climate Change is for Everyone.

Some people are saying that the Antarctic sea ice is expanding and it is getting colder at the South Pole.

I just finished reading the following article in Forbes Magazine.  Man, this makes me hopping mad.

 What the F—?  Haven’t the butt-cans in the southern hemisphere heard the news?

 IT’S CALLED GLOBAL warming you ass-holes. Just because you are in the southern hemisphere does not mean you get to exempt!  What is wrong with these tube-steaks down there?   This is the reason why those people have to be on the bottom half of the planet!  Did they not get the memo?  Do they think they are some kind of special case? 

Here the entire other half of the world, THE TOP HALF I MUST SAY, are all on-board with the GLOBAL plan but NOOOOOO, the commies on the bottom half have to be different!

 Bunch of socialists if you ask me.  What’s so difficult about cooperating with the rest of us, the entire upper half of the planet?  Don’t they have cars down there?  Don’t they have airplanes and cows?  Are they holding their breath?  Don’t they have bar-b-ques and lawn mowers?  GOD!  THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING!   If you ask me, it’s obvious someone is not pulling on the rope with the rest of the team.

Well, I am not going to just sit quietly while our brave scientists prove the facts that humans are warming the planet and these jerks down south refuse to go along.  Do they think we are going to just waste millions of dollars compiling data and facts and computer models and killing our polar bears and flooding our cities and burning our forests and flying jet planes to global climate change meetings, and listening to Algore and Obama and Mayor Bloomberg, and eating meat, and breathing while they just take their siestas and glibly refuse to go along? 


 What can we do you say?  Well, I think we need to show those bottom-half global warming deniers that they can’t just ride in the wagon while we do all the pulling.  So, here’s my plan.

 Get a big fan.  Not some puny, half-ass room fan.  I mean a big one.  A big, box fan from Wal Mart.  Then, go outside and start your truck or car or SUV or RV or motorcycle.  Or better yet, get some old tires and set them on fire in your yard.  (No, you liberals can’t use your crappy electric cars for this.  Get a real car you wimps.  Be a man and buy a truck.  Borrow one in the meantime.) 

 Set the fan beside the exhaust pipe or fire and aim it to the south.  If we all act together, we can blow enough carbon dioxide down there to force them to have GLOBAL warming, like the whole fu—–  rest of the planet!!!

 I have attached a photo so all of you can see how this is done. 

Send your CO-2 south today!

So don’t delay.  Start today.  Together, we will show those bottom half global warming deniers that we mean business.

 Don’t stop there.  Send this message to your friends.  Make sure you send it to anyone who is a Global Warming Zealot.  We will need their help with this.  Really.  This will get them on board for sure.  Especially the part about the fan.  They love this kind of community organizing.  We must all be in this together.


 Man, I feel better now.  I  think I will go back to listening to my Joan Baez music and reading “Earth in the Balance” as soon as I send this.


About vortextual

so much to say, so little time
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