Barak Obama is a great leader. I didn’t vote for him because I did not know this when he ran for President. Now I can see I was wrong.
A great leader is a person who has no experience or background actually leading people and no idea how to actually get important things done but can still talk as if he knows how.
A great leader never takes a position on important issues or public policies unless it is absolutely necessary to do so to get more votes.
A great leader makes wonderful speeches without ever actually saying anything coherent.
A great leader makes sure other people write laws and make policies that might be controversial or important so that if something goes wrong he can say he didn’t vote for it or take part in it.
A great leader says when anyone disagrees with him, “They are wrong” without actually specifying why they are wrong or why he is right.
A great leader always sticks with the talking points and the script on the teleprompter.
A great leader has press conferences as rarely as possible and then only takes easy questions from people he knows will ask easy questions and then limits the number of questions by giving long rambling answers that take so long everyone gets worn out.
A great leader always makes sure to wait until the last possible moment to take an important policy position to be sure there are other people speaking out before him that can be blamed for bad outcomes.
A great leader always puts a former political opponent in charge of crucial things like foreign policy so when things go bad he can make it look like her fault so she can’t run against him again.
A great leader says popular things like, “Close Guantanamo Bay Prison” or “Balance the budget” or “End the Patriot Act”, or “control spending” even though he has no intention of doing any such thing or no clue how to actually do it. Here’s a really good one, “We need to come together around a budget that sacrifices wasteful spending without sacrificing job-creating investments.” Does this sound intelligent or does it just sound like some oaf reading off a prepared script?
A great leader always has a good excuse ready when asked any questions about why the problems he said he would solve just get worse and worse. The one I like best is, “I inherited this problem”.
A great leader always has a catchy slogan handy and ready to be deployed. You often hear great leaders with neat clichés like, “Hope and Change, Hope and Change”, or “We are the people we have been waiting for”. Catchy slogans are always the hallmark of great leaders.
A really great leader calls meetings with people who disagree with him and then says things like, “I won so we will do it my way”.
A great leader once in a while says something really stupid. Then, when it’s totally obvious how stupid it was he has a meeting called a “beer summit” at which he and his prime flunky do a photo op and tell everyone how great they are.
A great leader surrounds himself with political hacks who say things like, “The people want us to do this” even though only 15% to 20% of the people approve of what political hacks are doing.
A great leader has supporters and defenders who say things like, “He is so intelligent” without ever offering any examples of why. Then, these supporters and defenders finally admit their great leader is really a dunce and say, “The guy before him was worse”.
Yes indeed, Barack Obama is a great leader. How could I have missed something so obvious?